November 2nd, 2021 By Cupid

Escape from the Parking Deck!

Imagine being stranded at the top of a parking deck – nothing but cold isolation – your only choices: jump 6 stories to your death; whisper to a moth you need a pteradactyl-sized eagle to uber you out; Sure there are stairs – but suppose you forget how to traverse stairs!

Your only out is to hold the magic railroad tie plate and perform a series of mystical moves, each more complicated than the last, hoping you can persevere till before you the door to your freedom appears! To fail is to join the throngs of soulless phantoms (and birds) that roam the parking deck in search of the elusive electric outlet by which to bring their “Mr. Coffee” to life, or a control closet offering valve shutoff in case a fire on the top floor should not be extinguished, but serve as a beacon through the windows of other F3 pax trying to sleep through another Tuesday weight-day beatdown.

An ancient scroll in your pocket is your map! Perform the dance!
Dance like your life depends on it.
You’re a maniac, maniac on the floor
And you’re dancing like you’ve never danced before:
– Level 6 Upper – 12 Freddie Mercs (Freddie cheer’s you on with his shrill falsettos)
– Level 6 Lower – 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 5 Upper – 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 5 Lower – 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 4 Upper – 12 Calf Raises (each leg), 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 4 Lower – 12 Merkins, 12 Calf Raises (each leg), 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 3 Upper – 12 V-ups, 12 Merkins, 12 Calf Raises (each leg), 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 3 Lower – 12 Hammy Lifts* (each leg), 12 V-ups, 12 Merkins, 12 Calf Raises (each leg), 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 2 upper – 12 Milpress, 12 Hammy Lifts* (each leg), 12 V-ups, 12 Merkins, 12 Calf Raises (each leg), 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 2 lower – 12 deer ticks, 12 Milpress, 12 Hammy Lifts* (each leg), 12 V-ups, 12 Merkins, 12 Calf Raises (each leg), 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 1 upper – 12 lunges, 12 deer ticks, 12 Milpress, 12 Hammy Lifts* (each leg), 12 V-ups, 12 Merkins, 12 Calf Raises (each leg), 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;
– Level 1 lower – 12 Lat rows, 12 lunges, 12 deer ticks, 12 Milpress, 12 Hammy Lifts* (each leg), 12 V-ups, 12 Merkins, 12 Calf Raises (each leg), 12 KGB Twists, 12 Curls, 12 Squats, 12 Freddie Mercs;

Exit to Parking deck magically appears with zelda-like chime.

Moleskins – Sorry, ran out of time before I finished. Still there looking for electric outlet.

Always an honor to lead
Cupid.

* Hammy Lift – On your back with your legs flush against a wall. Use one heel to pull up into a bridge. Other leg floats vertically and effortlessly in the air. Toes sky-ward. Extra credit if big toe alone points sky-ward.

#F3Kannon, F3Meca, Kannon, MECA

---