22 Men emerged from The Gloom to get better. The PAX was rewarded with a dystopian beatdown of Orwellian proportions – war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength – and every exercise has an animal name.

Well, maybe not that extreme, but every exercise did have an animal name.

A litany of new exercises recovered from the Exicon were assembled to entertain, inspire and generally confuse.
No [actual] animals were injured during the execution of this beatdown.

WARMUP
Seal Jacks x20
Down Dog
Dancing Bear x5
Copperhead Squat x10
The Wolverine x5

THE THANG
Howling Monkeys
Exicon: “In a circle, everyone grabs their ankles in Monkey Humper fashion (or Gorilla Humper, for the fearless) . The first person does ten monkey humpers followed by the next person and so on as in other “ring of fire” exercises. Don’t let go of the ankles! Depending on the number of PAX, two rounds seems to result in Howling Monkeys. This will definitely not be a crowd pleaser, and it might be better to not be seen by light of day in a public space.”

Walks I
Bear Crawl and Crab Jack x20
Gorilla Walk and Gorilla Humper x20
Duck walk and Scorpion dry dock x10

Wolverine Suicide Pyramid
Run to marker X, do X wolverine(s), run back
Marker/Count 1,2,3,4,3,2,1

Walks II
Bear Crawl and Crab Jack x20
Duck Walk and Mountain Goats x10

Crunchy Frog Lap
Each corner of suicide lot, crunchy frog x20

Mickey Mouse Crawl (WDW)
Bear Crawl x5, (W)ide merkins x5, bear crawl x5, (D)iamond merkins x5, bear crawl x5, (W)ide merkins x5

Mary I
[butterfly] flutter kicks x20
dying cockroach x20
cockroach resurrection x15
crab humper x20

Run one lap around parking lot

Mary II
crunchy frog x20
plank 1 min

COT – Blessing for Strength and Perseverance

ANNOUNCEMENTS
1. March 20 – Extinction Race – lots of interest from other AOs, so take advantage of “Ridge priority” and sign up soon!
2. Fellowship of the Idiot Run is March 6th. Several going from Harrisburg.
3. All Pro Dads meetings for Hickory Ridge Elementary and Harrisburg Elementary will be tonight (Thursday 2/11). Reach out to Wexler for Hickory Ridge and Dr Lecter for Harrisburg.
4. 2.0 – canned food drive success, collecting 3000 lbs (?). (I could not catch all the details..)

MOLESKIN

Thank you for the opportunity to lead, and being good sports with the new exercises. #EndlessSupport #NeedToQMoreOften

Shout out to Pancake(2.0) for the impromptu leading of crunchy frog. I appreciate the backup, especially at the end. #SteppingUp

Thanks to Wexler for pointing out that there was a fair amount of ‘humpin’ exercises. I suppose this also fit the ‘animal’ motif. (ref: Bloodhound Gang, “Aint Nothing But Mammals”)