April 25th, 2017 By Disaster

Twelve men showed up in a cold, misty rain this morning to take on the challenge previously known as the Dropcloth 500 (TM). This bi-annual beatdown honors the roots of auto racing that brings over one hundred thousand rabid NASCAR fans to our area twice a year, while sending the more educated of our local residents scurrying out of town for safety. Here’s how it all went down:

WARMARAMA

• SSH IC X 20
• IST IC X 18
• CP IC X 16
• MC IC X 14
• Merkins IC X 12

THE THANG

The PAX were led to “pit row”, also known as the little turn around on the side of the bus lot. The PAX were instructed to perform the first exercise on the list, followed by one full lap around the bus lot. Repeato adding another exercise to the agenda each time, until seven full laps are completed.

• 10 burpees
• 20 lunges (single leg)
• 30 merkins
• 40 squats
• 50 LBC
• 60 Rocky Balboa (with air punches)
• 70 Freddie Mercury

Laps were measured at approximately 400 meters, but 500 has a much more “NASCAR” feel to it so we left it the way it was. Those men that completed all seven laps got about 1.75 miles of distance in today, as well as whole bunch of exercises. As usual, this beatdown sounded like a lot of fun on paper but turned out to be pretty difficult in practice.

@Kool Aid was the top finisher today, and was awarded a shiny new version of this year’s 2017 “air trophy”. I believe @Barrister came in second, followed by a whole group of men bunched together in third. I had originally “overscheduled” seven exercises just in case @Google showed up and needed more to do, but a total of eight men completed the full cycle in the allotted thirty minute window. Well done PAX!

MARRY

• Low Flutter IC X 20

COT and BOM

MOLESKIN

1. This beatdown was originally named the Dropcloth 500 because the laps are twice the size of the traditional Dropcloth 200 loop, and mentally it just seems like 500 yards by the time you get around. Unfortunately @Dropcloth has informed us that he will no longer be sponsoring this event. He’s either holding out for more money or he is still bitter because I made him wear the “I <3 MATH” button the last time I was the ‘Q’. Either way, we are now in the market for a new sponsor. Anyone willing to fund this event will get 25% of the paid gate along with the honor of being named in the title of the backblast. Somehow the “Disaster 500” doesn’t quite have the ring I’m looking for. That’s more of a demolition derby/monster truck kind of event.
2. YHC played the role of the sad little clunker with the bumper hanging off as it limps around the track while the fans wonder why he doesn’t just get off the road and let the real drivers through. Thanks to the PAX for not running me down as they raced past me on the outside edge.
3. Typically @Conchito’s penchant for heavy outerwear is an easy target for abuse around our AO. But today I was secretly a little bit jealous as it was a lot colder than I expected it to be.
4. Don’t forget the Cruise is still running every Wednesday at 530AM if you want to get some distance in. It’s a good way to fill your first and second F every week.
5. Mint Hill is celebrating their 2 year anniversary with a convergence this Saturday at 7AM. The event will be held at Mint Hill Veteran’s Memorial Park, at the intersection of I-485 and Highway 218.
6. The Sign Up Genius is dangerously empty for the rest of April and May, except for @Alcatraz who has signed up for two spots every month through 2047. These beatdowns don’t lead themselves so please sign up to ‘Q’. If you have never led a workout feel free to partner up with an experienced member of the PAX who will be glad to help you out. The PAX is typically pretty forgiving your first time. With #Comanche in place we are down several men and will need more people to step up and lead. As you saw today, if a skinny, un-athletic accountant like myself can do this anyone can.

Nice showing by the PAX today. As always, it is in honor to lead you. Sound off below.

Highlands

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