April 30th, 2016 By King Louie

9 (kind of) men came out this morning to get beat down with a bunch of new exercises and routines that hopefully were enjoyable and also unenjoyable at the same time!

The Disclaimer was almost forgotten, until R2D2 reminded me. Somehow I always write it down in my notes, and then never say it.

Begin with a mosey around the new parking lot, figured we should start using it for something since it replaced our Outback. Can’t help but wonder how we could build new pull up bars. I think it was Disaster that suggested we could just hide them in the woods. F3 Jungle Adventure!

Circle up for the Warm Up:
SSH x 15 IC
Arm circles
IST x 15 IC
Michael Phelps
Cotton Picker x 15 IC

Mosey on over to the Cinderblocks for the first section of our beatdown:

Merkin Matrix!
The Merkin Matrix is as follows:
1) Regular Merkins until failure, then rest on knees and do an isometric press, pressing your hands together as tight as possible for a slow 10 count.
2) CB Merkins. Do 5 with left hand on block, then 5 with right, repeat until failure. Follow with another 10 count isometric press.
3) CB diamond pushups until failure, 10 count isometric press once again.
Take a brief 15 second break then REPEATO! Repeat as many times as possible until 6 minute buzzer.

Next we carry the CBs to picnic tables for:
Bulgarian CB Split Squat x 10 each leg. The bulgarian split squat is done by putting on foot on a bench, and then squatting down, using only the foot that is in the front. Make sure you don’t put your front foot close to the back and have to bend your knee forward – your knee should stay over your foot. It looks kind of like a lunge.
Step ups with knee lift x 10 each leg
Repeato x 2

Carry CBs back to their corner:
CB The W x 10 IC
CB LBC x 10 IC
CB Knee-ins x 20 IC

Step away from the CBs to begiin:

“Shane’s* no gym MMA routine”
*(Not Ribshack!)
30s of shadow boxing, make sure you do more than just stand there. Bounce on your toes, dodge, duck, throw punches, elbows, knees, kicks. Keep moving, it’s not a rest break!
30s of burpees
30s of shadow boxing
30s of 180 jump squats (do a regular squat jump, except turn and face the other way when you jump/land)
30s shadow boxing
30s matrix Merkins
30 seconds rest
REPEATO

Indian run around church to entryway:
People’s Chair with Isometric press for 45 seconds
Balls to the wall for as long as you can, plank til everyone is done.

Mary + Stretching
Freddy Mercury x 20 IC
Homer to Marge
*Around this time, Dutch pulled up and walked out of his car to watch us and mumble chatter a bit.
Box Cutter x 20
Pretzel Crunch x 10 each side IC
LBC x 15
Dying Cockroach x 10

Then some time was taken to stretch out our legs, arms, obliques, etc. Around this point Dutch joined us and we discussed Jillian and HIIT! An F3 work out can never be complete without a little Jillian conversation with Dutch.

The Moleskin
WHOOPS! I realized after the end of the beat down that I lied to Bazinga. He came up to me and asked “So Saturday workouts are an hour?” And my response was: “Sometimes, but no this was just 45 minutes.” Moments later I realized…. The workout we did was 6:15-7:15. I had said 6:15-7. By the ending I guess I forgot the start (original plan actually was 6:30-7:15 but we changed this to give time to change… and then I just took the time instead)

Welcome to 2 new FNGs! Granted one of them is from far out of state… But we were joined by Missing Brother and Little Big Cake (name from R2D2).

Hope everyone enjoyed it. That MMA routine sucked. I don’t remember feeling that beat up when I was in tae kwon do. I’m going to look up and comment a video below showing an insane scene from The Protector where it’s a 4 minute long take. A long take is when they film with one camera only. No editing, not cuts, nothing. And it’s just 5 minutes or so of a Tony Jaa going up a building and fighting.

Also a great breakfast this morning, good talk from the Benham Brothers. I’ll write down one of my “gems” from the sheet Russel Justice had us fill out. They were talking about how much of the church is sleeping, sitting in it’s own little bubble and not watching the world around them. “When men are startled awake, they will reach and grab the wrong weapon.” Examples of this are Peter grabbing his sword when Jesus was taken, despite Jesus telling them over and over again that he was going to be leaving them soon. And another is falling half asleep at the wheel, jolting awake and over correcting into a spin out.

Also – Hope the MudRun went awesome for those that went today! And the same for Dutch’s daughter’s wedding today!

Tradition

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