August 4th, 2020 By Buckwheat

Yup, you read that title right…..  I’m 12 and I just knocked out my VQ!  After hearing late yesterday that the Comanche Pax wanted to some “new blood” on Q, I decided (was voluntold) to sign up for my first Q. I got my first pimple two weeks ago and it was kind of scary.  Surely, Q’ing a beatdown can’t be that bad.  I don’t know what Sign up Genius is because my parents do that for me, so I told my AMAZING dad to put it on Slack, whatever that is.  You see, I use things like iMessage, IG, FaceBook, and TikTok to communicate.  Only old people must use Slack.  These geezers in F3 need to get with the times!

We got off to a little bit of a rough start thanks to me forgetting what a disclaimer was and half of it’s content once reminded about it.  Hey, I’m only 12, and the only thing liability wise that I have to worry about is whether or not my gamer chair is in the correct position for my posture, the UV lights in my room are on the right setting, and my Twitch stream is live for my EPIC Fortnite adventures.  You see, I CRUSH worlds in Fortnite all day long during the summer, especially during these COVID times.

Once my dad reminded me what a disclaimer was, we got to work with the traditional Comanche loop mosey for warm-o-rama.  My dad was supposed to do warm-o-rama for me as I wasn’t comfortable calling out exercises or cadence.  However, that mean OLD man decided to make me call out exercises and cadence at first.  WTF!?  I barely know how to spell, but one thing I do know is how to use acronyms for texting.   Surprisingly, I did okay with it despite my squeaky pre-puberty voice.  In typical dad fashion though, he hijacked warm-o-rama from me and finished it off.

We then moseyed over to the rock pile for some strength work.  At 12, I’m stronger than most of these guys, so I made them do most of the work here.  I called 10 curls IC before remembering, err being reminded that it’s easier to do rock exercises OYO.  Thus, we did that and I went around the circle having each pax pick an exercise.  We did things like triceps extensions (Just for Major Pain), shoulder presses, chest presses, goblet squats, WWII sit ups with rocks, chest press V-ups with rocks and LBC’s.  Once the old men finished calling my Q for me, I made them plank for a minute.  Except, I didn’t have a watch on so I had to rely on my dad to be the timer.  Damn it, I’m trying to lead here and can’t even remember to bring a watch.  It’s rough being a Tween…..  I think dad shorted us about 15 seconds on this, but whatever.

We moseyed around back of the school to the courtyard for some picnic table madness.   We planked for what seemed like 10 minutes waiting for the six. It’s tough leading a bunch of OLD men…..  We then did 10 dips and 10 step ups each leg followed by a mosey up from the front of the courtyard to the school.  We then Repeato’d while adding an extra mosey leg a the end.  We then moseyed around back of the school to the bus lot for a sprint, side-shuffle, quadraphelia medley then length of the lot followed by 40 LBC’s.  Repeato the spring, side-shuffle, quadraphelia medley back to the other end of the lot.  When I thought of this, I didn’t realize how big bus spaces were and my legs were on fire at the end….  We capped this off by doing 40 CDD’s.  Since I couldn’t remember the name of that weird shoulder exercise, I had to ask my dad for help again.  What’s new!?  One day I’ll become independent and not have to rely on my parents for everything…..

We mosey’d to the teacher lot loop at the front of the school for four corners of pain.  At the first corner, we did 10 decline merkins.  15 SSH at the second corner.  15 burpees (pretty sure I’m the only one who did all these.  It’s nice to be 95 pounds and young).  20 WWII sit ups at corner 4.

Now that we were just getting warmed up, it was time to mosey to the flag for MARY.  I knocked out some pretzel crunch, 15 on the right side and 10 on the left.  Don’t hate at what you thought was forgetfulness, the lean on my gamer chair is a little left, so I needed some extra work on the right.  Again, I’m 12 and I only really care about myself….  The Pax finished us off with some low flutter and reverse crunches IC and we were done.

No announcements, but prayers were said for our country, the COVID pandemic, victims of the hurricane, and the Marines and Navy sailors killed during a tragic training accident this past weekend.

Moleskin:

-Did I mention that I’m 12 and haven’t hit puberty yet?  If that’s the case and I can step up and Q, YOU have no excuse.

In all seriousness, I’m proud of Vulture for getting up early and either Zooming or coming to beatdowns the past few months while others his age are in the fartsack dreaming about Fortnite dances and TikTok girls.  Times are not easy right now to say the least, but one thing is for sure, they are better when you associate with a good group of men.  Truly thankful for F3 and my Comanche brothers and the life lessons I’ve learned as part of this group.  I hope Vulture turns out to be a true #HIM.  Alright, I’ve gotta get back to my PC so I can clutch a Fortnite squad win with my homies.  I promise I’ll do better with my next Q!

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