August 1st, 2016 By Fishwrap

PREBLAST

The Thang:

Hot Mile to the ‘Ship #MissHer

Flutters, Merkins

Partner Wheelbarrow down ramp to L11

Run back up, then fly down the stairs to L2

Partner Carry ramp, x2

Run up the stairs, across deck, down spiral,

EpiCentre, at the top

Merkins, LBC, Diamonds,

BB&T spiral, at the top

Merkins, LBC, Diamonds,

Romare Bearden #Waterwall

Merkins, LBC’s, Diamonds, LBC’s, Dips

Hot Mile to the Dowd.

It’s a 4 mile course.

Foreskin:

#WhenKeepingItRealGoesWrong

Okay, so I may be a bit rusty. I take pride in running a tight Q and want to apologize for the blunder at the EpiCentre. I really do want everyone to have the best possible workout experience imaginable and loathe mental errors like that. What makes it ridiculous is that I actually did take the time to lay out a very specific route and even ran it. Twice. Last Tuesday (not satisfied, I think it had something to do with the transition out of the EpiCentre, but I could be wrong) and again on Saturday, you know, to be sure I knew what the f*ck I was doing. Yeah, well, that just happened. One errant turn out of there and the transition to our next stop was a complete disaster. I was embarrassed by it and was turned back to #SemiPro at that point and Kim Jong and his compass got us the heck out there and directed to the BB&T deck. Thank you, Shank.

I guess it’s one thing to run it solo during daylight and a little different when you have 30 crazed lunatics tagging along in the gloom.

We recovered and got back in the gas as we headed to Romare Bearden but I checked in with #DownhillDanny just to be sure I was running in the right direction. Good news – I was immediately called back up to the #BigLeague once we landed at the #Waterwall. The real upside is this: I’m Qing #RAnGEr on Wednesday and could be tempted to work some of the kinks out.

I’m unreasonably excited these days and had looked forward to this opportunity ever since @Maybe told me I was doing it. First order of business #Amazon — I would need a Prestige Worldwide tank-top #Boats’NHoes and a copy of the Step Brothers movie for research. I wanted to put in the man hours and science the sh*t out of it. Oh yeah, I requested 2 day shipping because of the unreasonably excitable thing I have going on. That’s how we do-

I woke up #RockyBalboa early to get all jacked up for the event and headed to the Y. Shank, you were there. Then Monkey Feet walks into the weight room, looks at me, looks at the weights, looks at himself in the mirror and was like, “Eh, I’m good…” I think he was actually looking for Caesar #NoCallNoShow.

I never know if I should PreBlast or not – will I turn folks on or off or if I write a really stupid PB will the gang just shrug, thinking, “F*ck Fish.” It’s always a possibility that I could be by myself, but last night @Horn messages me to HC. I take a minute, then hit him back, “Nah, man, sleep in, I got this.” Let’s be honest. Would you rather work out by yourself or with Horn? I know, right? It doesn’t matter. #CallButNoShow

I walk up to Cindy a few minutes before the start to let him know his boyfriend wasn’t coming. I swear that f*cker broke out in hives, starts bitching, and tells me he’s leaving. I’m pretty sure he was serious, but I was able to convince him to stay, thankfully, by suggesting we partner together. You see, my boyfriend wasn’t there, either, so it made sense. @Cindy, that was fun though, right? Not to worry Swamp, he’s all yours.

@Maybe&Ballz had me on a Press Junket this last week, building hype around this nonsense, so I was very pleased to see Tantrum and Rocky Top this morning.

It’s exhausting trying to keep Maverick well fed on the rep counts? Good Lord. Good to see Goose and Second Coming. Again. SC brings an FNG @Pammd (it’s a Step Brother reference) which I told everyone was a bad idea, but the young man is 18 and I guess he held on and did okay. I mean, you were @COT so that’s something!

Be sure to check out Waco’s Bi’s, Tri’s, Chest, Shoulders, Back and Abs next time you see him. Just sharin’.

I am missing a few PAX names. I don’t really know what happened out there this morning and hope you’ll forgive me. I hate blackouts. I do know that drinking early in the day is bad for you and that maybe I #shotgunned one too many beers before posting – but really, what is that number? I think next time I’ll just play through.

I did, however, learn how to operate my phone this morning. Thanks, Mav!

The Full Monty:

I don’t brag on F3 enough. I want to and I will. I f*ckin’ love it!

Thanks for a wonderful morning! I sincerely hope everyone got what they were looking for. It’s a big commitment and sometimes it can feel like a drag, maybe, but I really do hope that I was able to inject that workout with something that felt more like fun than work #funout We cannot stop having fun out there. It’s too important and life is too short.

I don’t know if I’ve ever told you guys this or not. Me and my wife, Jill (Pocahontas), we’ve always had an amazing relationship, but when we caught fire with F3 & FiA we exploded. That means that our life, that was already pretty darn good, became great. There will be ebbs. That too is life. But we talk about you (and it) all the time and truly feel blessed that we have you in our lives. Shoot, we got excited laying out our run/travel schedule over the next couple years and doing things like that, together, is unbelievably cool. Four years ago, activities like these weren’t even on our radar. Marathons and Ultras, that was something other people did. Not us. And by doing them, it’s opened up our lives to other cool ideas and badass adventures.

You’d be hard pressed to find a man or woman who is active in either F3 or FiA that would tell you, “You know, I kind of preferred my life prior to F3/FiA and now that I do F3/FiA everything has gone to sh*t.”

So, thank you.

Fishwrap

“They misunderestimated me.” George W. Bush

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