1yr Reflection

My name is Fracture and I was born on August 3 2014. If you would have asked me on August 2 2014 to describe myself, this is what I would have said:
My name is Josh. I live in Lexington, SC in a beautiful house with my 3 amazing children and a gorgeous wife. I have a great job working with Orthopedic surgeons helping repair some of the most gruesome injuries imaginable. I may not be in as good of shape as I once was, but I am an ex-college athlete with a bad knee and plenty of war stories, so of course I will never be in the shape I once was. Not bad, right? I thought so, and if you would have asked, I would have told you that I was very happy and life was close to perfect.
What you wouldn’t have heard that day was the truth:
My name is Josh, I work long hours and have sacrificed precious time away from my family to give them what I thought they needed. I am a good father but could always be better, more patience, and especially more present. I am an average to poor husband. I neglect my wife because my job and children receive 95% of my attention, leaving her 5% at the end of the day when I am tired and basically worthless. I have no real friends. If you asked about that, I would have told you about the best friends that I played college ball with. Unfortunately, those relationships have dwindled to a phone call once a month, a fantasy football league, and a weekend getaway once a year. The only friends that I had locally were friends from work or husbands of my wife’s friends. Honestly, no deep real male relationships at all. I hated to workout. Through high school and college I worked out religiously and loved it. I loved being in the weight room with my friends, helping each other and laughing about stories from the night before. After college I went in spurts trying to get back in shape and failed everytime. I failed because I was alone. My favorite part of working out was doing it with my friends, my team mates.
I heard about F3 one day from my wife. She told me several of the guys doing it, so I mentioned it to one of them and they filled me in. Guys with nicknames running around in the dark sounded cheesy to me, but I tried it.
On August 12 2014 I stepped into the circle and told them about myself and Fracture was born. It was close to being Boner, but thankfully Floppy Disk deemed that inappropriate. The workout was good. It was hard but I was able to keep up despite being out of shape. There was also something about the jokes, laughs and relationships that I really liked. I was hooked when Floppy Disk mentioned in his closing prayer, “help us use you to make us better husbands, fathers, and examples for you”. That was the moment that changed my life. All I ever wanted was to be a better husband, father, and example, and I knew I needed these men to help me do that.
F1-Fitness
Over the past year, I have surpassed all of my goals. I hadn’t had a fitness goal since I was 22, but now I have run countless 5Ks and 10Ks and have continually improved my time. I have completed a GoRuck light and challenge and will be leading a team at the Blue Ridge Relay in a few short weeks. I learned this year that my “glory days” are not over, and that having goals that push you will make you better in all aspects of your life.
F2-Fellowship
I made real friends. I actually can’t even say that because they are more like brothers now. The amazing part is that I knew some of them for years but never bonded because guys just don’t bond without a reason. My brothers have proven that they will stand by me through thick and thin and continue to push me to be a better man.
F3-Faith
God blessed me with F3. This year I faced the biggest trial of my life. It hurt and I was in pain for a long time. Without the strength that I learned from F3 and the support of my brothers, I would have fallen apart. The power of strong men working together can move mountains. I have always lived by the motto, “actions speak louder than words”. I’ve never been a big talker. I like actions, and that is why I have never grown my faith sitting in a pew week after week. It was always when I went out and did Gods work that my faith was most apparent. This past year I have circled up with so many men that shine as examples of how to live life with God first, and that has had the biggest impact on my faith.
Thank you to every Pax that I have shared a BOM with. You have touched my life more than you will ever know. Thank you to the leaders that founded and spread this organization. It is an incredibly powerful  tool that will continue to change lives in a remarkable way.
With love and admiration,
Fracture