May 16th, 2025 By Neverland

BB Thurs 5/15

0530

AO: ASEC

Q: Neverland

QICs: Ace, Marboro, Mayhem, Trick Daddy, Tombstone, Total Package, Psycho T, El Ab, Loveboat

10 of Concord’s finest country boys done rolled outta bed to sweat the stink off this Thursday morn’

Warm-up (in the Rehab Lot, where dreams and hammies go to die):

• Side Straddle Hops – 20 of ‘em

• Imperial Storm Troopers – 15 (Space Force approved)

• Mountain Climbers – 20 (looked like a bunch o’ possums fightin’ a snake)

• Loose Change – 8 (don’t spend it all in one place)

• Arm Circles – Big ’n Little (like a drunk windmill)

Just as we’s gettin’ loose, Tombstone comes struttin’ in outta the fog like Clint Eastwood at a tractor pull.

The Thang:

I grabbed my “to-do” list and we done went shoppin’ redneck mall-style.

Belk (Fancy Pants Fitness Dept.):

• Air Squats x 20

• Jump Squats x 10 (yee-haw legs)

• Lunges x 10 (forward, not backpedalin’ like a scared raccoon)

• Calf Raises x 15 (work them chicken legs)

  Repeat till you cuss or cramp

JCPenny (Where meemaw gets her Sunday dress):

• Merkins x 15 (push-ups for them city folks)

• Dips x 10 (on whatever wasn’t rusted)

• Drydocks x 10 (more merkin-type stuff, but we look like breakdancers with arthritis)

• Supermans x 10 (layin’ in the lot like roadkill, arms up)

  Repeat while grumblin’

Vacant Sears (RIP power tools):

• Burpees x 10 (Satan’s jumping jack)

• Mtn Climbers x 20 (again, possum fight mode)

• Jump Lunges x 15 (like lunges, but stupid-er)

• Hillbillys x 20 (whoops, we forgot ‘em — typical)

  Repeat if your knees ain’t cryin’ yet

Food Court (ain’t no funnel cake here):

• LBCs x 20 (Layin’ Belly Crunchers or somethin’)

• KGBs x 20 (Russian twistin’ — careful, Putin might be watchin’)

• Freddy Mercs x 15 (some bicycle pedalin’ nonsense)

• Plank :30 (just lay there like your mower broke again)

  Repeat with groanin’

Had a little time left, so we ran back to Belk for a second shoppin’ spree.

Mary (not your cousin, the cool down):

Little bit of Broga (that’s hillbilly yoga) — stretchin’ like a hound dog on a porch.

Prayers ‘n Praise:

Shoutin’ out the brotherhood — no matter the mess you’re in, there’s always a fella ready to lend a hand, a tool, or a cold one.

This beatdown had more reps than a NASCAR pit crew and just enough runnin’ to make ya hate your legs later.

Strong turnout for a Thursday! Extra high-fives at coffee where Boze and Mayweather joined up (Git yer new S4E duds here https://swim4ella.myshopify.com/)

Good luck to the boys runnin’ TimeLapse this weekend. If you’re bored, go cheer ‘em on or throw Slim Jims from the sidelines.

YEE YEE!

–Neverland

*BB may or may not have been AI enhanced.

---