September 25th, 2021 By Disaster

Ten men showed up at MCCP this morning to help @Disaster celebrate his six year anniversary with F3. Some were chilly, some were sleepy, some were hungover (cough, @Poutine, cough) and no one was smiling. Well nothing cheers up the mood like a whole lot of running right @Sandman? @Focker showed up a little late with his 2.0 Harrison in tow. After the typical, well-rehearsed disclaimer we were off to the top of the parking lot, glad to not be dodging buses since Mallard Creek High had a road game last night. Here’s how everything went down:

WARMARAMA

• SSH IC X 19
• IST IC X 10
• WP IC X 10
• WM IC X 10
• MC IC X 10
• Merkins IC X 10

THE THANG

The PAX were instructed to pair up with a partner and to make it a good one because they would be stuck with them all day. We moseyed over to the wetter-than-expected hill beside the soccer field (stupid dew!) and lined up at the bottom of the hill. Partner One bear crawls up the big hill and does five burpees at the top and returns while Partner Two does air squats at the bottom. Switcheroo and repeato thrice. After one set YHC knew that he was being way too ambitious and reduced the count to twice. Once you finish do the same thing again (twice), but this time with quadraphilia up the hill. Plank for the six.

Next stage. Partner One lunge walks across the wetter-than-expected soccer field (stupid dew!) while Partner Two completes twenty merkins and chases him down. Switcheroo and then keep going until you reach the sidewalk on the far side of the soccer field (roughly two times each).

Next stage. Line up on the sidewalk and jailbreak across the second soccer field (still wet) and stop at the parking lot. At this point we began to realize that 2.0 Harrison was going to run us all into the ground. Walk/mosey up to the snack shacks while you catch your breath and wait for the six.

Next stage. As part of @Murdock appreciation month (which is actually every month) partners will complete a series of figure eights. Keeping with the theme of twice, not thrice, each partner completes two sets of wall sits with air press, two sets of jump squats, and two sets of LBC. Somehow YHC and @Murdock got into a race with the much fitter and faster team of @Illuminati and @Poutine. The fitter/faster guys toyed with us for a while before @Poutine used a set of completely against the rules inside lane shortcuts to pull out the win. It was all fun until @Murdock and I realized that we still had forty minutes of working out left to complete and were dangerously close to complete exhaustion.

Next stage. Mosey back down to the lower parking lot for more partner fun. After observing the driver’s ed car at the other end of the lot, we took a moment to wonder why today’s generation has to beep their horn before backing into a parking spot. Staying in the safety at the top end of the lot, Partner One runs a lap around two islands while Partner Two completes a set of kid-friendly monkey humpers (Yay!). Switcheroo and then do it all again. Next complete two more laps each with the more family friendly low flutters.

Next stage. @Poutine made the wise suggestion that we pause to pick up trash around the parking lot before resuming the workouts. There was a surprising amount of trash located within 2-3 feet of the conveniently located trash cans, showing the laziness of the latest generation (stupid millennials!) After we all earned our climate change points, complete two sets of side shuffles down to the small hill at the bottom of the parking lot, wisely avoiding the still beeping driver’s ed car.

Next stage. Did I promise no burpees on Thursday @Sandman? Yet another lie. With everyone’s shoes almost dry now, we went back into the wet grass (stupid dew!) for another round of pain. Six to one ladder on the small hill with burpees at the top and WW2 sit ups (for @Snowsuit) at the bottom. @Focker failed the math portion of the workout when he decided that all sets should add up to six (the correct answer is seven)

Next stage. Mosey over to the hilly part of the street, with half of the pax running backwards (as instructed) to avoid the sun in their face and the other half not caring and running forwards. Stop at the first streetlight and find your partner. Partner one runs to the crosswalk at the top of the hill and returns while partner two does Carolina dry docks at the bottom of the hill. Switcheroo and then complete two rounds. Modify the run to just the second streetlight to save time and exhaustion for the runners. Do it all again, but this time with reverse crunch at the bottom of the hill, each partner completing two sets.

Next stage. Running out of time so we cut the planned workout short and headed back across the soccer field. Pick up more trash along the way before stopping at the bleachers. T-Claps to @illuminati for finding an empty plastic bag to collect all the trash in. Gather round the bleachers for a good old-fashioned overhead bleacher press, with Harrison providing the count. We made it (barely) to twenty-five, wisely deciding not to go for the Q’s age of fifty-three. Set it down gently and mosey back to Mary picking up even more trash (and wet feet) along the way.

MARY

• Pretzel Crunch (or stick) IC X 15, flapjack (thanks @Poutine)
• The W IC X 4 (one for each Wake Forest victory, now the only team in the state with a perfect record!)

COT and Prayer

MOLESKIN

1. Thanks to everyone who came out to help me celebrate my six-year anniversary today. I was just a skinny little runt on September 26, 2015 when @Old School picked me up in his jeep and drove me over to my first F3 workout. Today I am still a skinny little runt, but a much better man in the process. I appreciate all of you for putting up with me for six long years of complaining, mischief, mockery, and unfiltered sarcasm. I love F3 and still look forward to getting up at 450AM three times a week to join you guys in the gloom (plus Saturdays). Special T-Claps to former regulars @Bootstrap and @Bling for incessantly nagging me to join this group as well as former regular @Old School (whose last post was conveniently on September 26, 2015, thus fully passing the torch along to me) for overriding my procrastination and physically driving me to F3. And I can’t forget @Gump, who was my first Q and the guy who (quite appropriately) named me when the guys who EH’d me didn’t bother to show up for my second beatdown and namearama. @Gump was also the guy who convinced me (correctly) that I could post for workouts throughout the week and still make it to work downtown by 8AM. Well done men.
2. That being said, if you know any skinny little runts (or any other guys for that matter) who could benefit from F3, keep nagging them to get out here and join us. It took a lot of convincing but I finally got out here and I have never looked back. If an undersized accountant like me can do this then almost anyone can. There are a lot of sad clowns out there who could use the fitness, fellowship, and faith that F3 offers so keep after them.
3. If you enjoyed today’s beatdown (why is @sandman shaking his head?) there will be an encore presentation at HCES on Tuesday morning at 530am. Not the same beatdown but I’m sure there will still be lots of running. Rumor has it that there might be a special guest joining us from Texas so show to know.
4. Special welcome to @Focker’s 2.0 Harrison (now known as @Han Solo) who held his own out there today with the big boys. Well done sir. Come back again soon.
5. Continued prayers going out to @Illuminati’s friend Shawn, @Poutine’s friend Cassia, and any others out there suffering from illness or COVID-19. Show your support to those in need and help out wherever you can. Your good health is a blessing so never take it for granted.

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