A Virgin Q No Longer

My VQ a month or so ago went okay, BUT my first ever BB won MeCa BB of the Week.  I bet you my PS5 that none of you reading this won MeCa BB of the Week on your first one.  I digress though, I don’t want to sound arrogant or cocky…..

It was time to make another run at Qing and show these old men at Comanche a good time since most of them probably haven’t had a good time in years…..  You see, I’ll be turning 13 in a few weeks and know ALL about having a good time.  No, not the good times you’re thinking about right now…..  However, I must admit that I think like that ALOT while crafting corny pick up lines for the middle school gals I DM on IG.  None of those have worked yet as my first “date” scheduled at the neighborhood playground didn’t go down as plan.  I got ghosted after my girl got her phone and computer taken away by her mean parents.  Speaking of mean parents, my dad thinks he’s smart and monitors my social media.  What he doesn’t know is I created a burner IG account where I chat with the ladies on the sly.  You see, that’s what all kids my age do to hide stuff from their parents.  I’m not gonna give away all my little secrets today, but I AM gonna tell you about what I did to the old geezers at Comanche today.

As expected, I was the first to arrive after dragging my dad out of bed and forcing him to post this morning.  I almost had to drive him to the AO because he didn’t take his Geritol this morning.  Dude walks around complaining about how tired and sore he is ALL the time.  WTF, he acts like he works out or something.?.?  He doesn’t know the first thing about working out, beatdowns, or basically anything else.  Look at him, he’s old, fat, and out of shape while I’m rocking a six-pack and livin the dream.  This Q thing is pretty cool as being able to tell my dad what to do is FUN.  I like it so much that I might sign up to Q every beatdown the rest of the year, solely for that purpose.

Alright, enough about me and my family drama.  Let’s get to the EPIC beatdown I imposed on the Pax today.  Tuesday we had like 13 Pax and today, only 9.  WTF?  We all know the real reason for this is because they knew I was stepping up to Q and wanted no part of this.

In my best deep voice (my testicles haven’t dropped yet), I announced my F3 name and gave a disclaimer that the Pax mad fun of me about.  Dudes, I don’t care about liability, that’s what I have my dad for.  We did a short mosey around our MARY lot to the front of the school.  I would’ve done a mile warm up, but the old men following me would be crying and falling out as that would be too hard for them and I wanted no part of that as it’s too damn early in the morning to have to call 9-1-1.  For warm-o-rama, we did things like IST’s, Hillbillies, Windmills, Merkins, Yerkins, and SSH’s at my cadence the Pax dubbed the Jack Rabbit pace.  Sorry I’m not old like them.  They better start working harder to keep up.

After warm-o-rama, we counted off 1,2,1,2…. and got to work.  1’s ran the teacher lot loop and did 15 burpees.  Yup, you heard that right, 15.  These old men did nothing but complain and try to trash the Q because they are old and out of shape and don’t like burpees.  You know what I say to that?  Tough Tit+ies!  You thought was gonna type something inappropriate there, didn’t you?  You see changing a “t” to the plus symbol allows me to avoid displaying true inappropriate content.  If there’s one thing I learned from my dad, it’s don’t post inappropriate stuff on social media and I don’t want to catch a real beatdown at home after he reads this BB.  2’s rand the teacher lot loop and did 25 curb dips.  This group didn’t complain UNTIL I switched it up and they had run the loop and do the 15 burpees themselves while the “1’s” got a break running the lot and doing 25 curb dips.  Plank it up while waiting and then plank for another minute just because.  My six pack needs work to stay like that and these old men need ALOT more work than me in that department, just sayin.

Everyone grabbed a pillar and do a 2 minute wall sit.  Ahh, that wasn’t enough for me all by itself so I added some air presses during our fireside chat.  Did I mention, I made my dad my b!tch and keep time for me today?  Yup, I did.  And I enjoyed it.  Every minute of it.  After our short wall sit, I sent the “1’s” down to one end of the front pillars and the “2’s” to the other end.  We ran three-pillar suicides, 3, 6, 9, 12.  After each out and back, the “1’s” did 15 reverse crunches while the “2’s” did 15 squats.  At the end of the 12 pillar suicide, we doubled the rep count to 30 for the assigned exercise.  I planked for like 5 minutes while waiting for the geezers to finish.  Once all finished, we switched it up and ran the three-pillar suicides again with the “1’s” doing squats this time and “2’s” doing reverse crunches.  I planked again for like five minutes while waiting for these fat, slow geriatrics to finish.  We then did another 1.5 wall sit just so I could make my dad my timer b!tch again.  We then moseyed over to the rock pile and knocked out some chest presses, curls, and triceps extensions.  A wise Pax named @Major Pain once (more like 100 times) told me curls, a/k/a Thunder, were for the girls and you can’t have Thunder without a little Lightning (triceps extensions).  I concur.  That’s why I’m jacked as a 12-year-old and out year leading grown As$ men in beatdowns.  Let’s carry our rocks over to the playground area and knock out 20 calf raises since these geezers probably haven’t engaged their calf muscles in years.  Did I mention they are all OLD?  After all Pax officially engaged their calf muscles, we did an incline or decline (Pax Choice) plank for another minute.  Yup, you guessed it, I just wanted to make my dad serve as my B one more time.  When then moseyed back up to the front of the school for a little quadraphelia the length of sidewalk in front of the school.  It was only about 100 yards.

After the short quadraphelia, we moseyed over to the MARY lot for some pretzel crunches and LBC’s and low and behold, our time was up for the day.  Recess was fun guys, I hope you enjoyed it!

Not Even Winded Moleskin:

  1. Despite being old, the Comanche Pax are kind of cool and are actually funny when they want to be.
  2. Thanks for following me around today, men!  The rest of you who fartsacked need to step your game up!
  3. Please join my for my 13th Birthday Q on 12/17.  I’ve updated the SUG accordingly.