That’s what she said! No joke, this BB title is a direct quote text received last night from a Comanche Pax member who shall remain nameless. Not for long, of course… Is it a coincidence that this text just so happened to come from @Forgotten Jelly who is an educator of youth? Is he insinuating that I would mail in a Q and do something easy? OR, is he just a perv? I’ll go with option three. Nonetheless, I decided to pleasure him by giving him some “strange” this morning. No, not exactly the type of strange you’re thinking about. That would be immoral and just plain gross. I would never do or condone something like that…..
As an “OG” (sort of) around MeCa, I’ve been a part of five different AO’s and have visited every MeCa AO at least once over the years, some AO’s on multiple occasions. As such, I’ve had the opportunity to participate in many beatdowns. One of my least favorite beatdowns is “Old Glory.” Why? Simple, I despise running and can think of 400 things better to do at 0530 than running. While I may despise running, I just so happen to like living in the United States and all of the very freedoms “Old Glory” represents. Despite the recent hate and turmoil in our nation, I wanted to show appreciation and respect for the sacrifices our servicemen and women and their families have made for our great country, both throughout our nation’s history and in recent years. With Veteran’s Day on the horizon, I could think of nothing better to satisfy @Forgotten Jelly with than breaking out this oldie but goody bit of “strange.” As a bonus, this beatdown has never been experienced by the majority of Comanche Pax, most of whom hate running as much or more than me.
YHC arrived nice and early with #Passporter, Kojak, from the Harrisburg AO arriving shortly thereafter. He got out of his car all bright and chipper and was told to stretch on his own as we wouldn’t be doing a traditional warm-o-rama. When informed that “Old Glory” was the choice today, Kojak happily explained that his three-year F3iversary was right around the corner and “Old Glory” was the first beatdown he had ever attended. The problem was, he said this with a smile. His smile was so bright and he looked so eager to run, this baconator wanted to punch him square in the mouth. If “Old Glory” was the first F3 beatdown I ever attended, I would’ve never returned. You see, at 256 pounds way back then, I couldn’t run more than 10 feet without being gassed and couldn’t do more than 10 merkins at a time. Knowing that @Kojak is a freak of nature and true #HIM, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and not to follow through on my thoughts. Shortly after @Kojak arrived, we had another #Passporter pull in, Forto(?) from Afton. Then, the floodgates opened and we were joined by seven regulars. The only problem at 0529? No Shovel Flag. @ChickenCoop took it yesterday and vowed to be present today with it. How the hell are we supposed to do “Old Glory” and honor what it stands for with no shovel flag? Fortunately, we didn’t have to worry about that as @Chicken Coop rolled in on two wheels right at 0530 and planted the flag where YHC desired. Thus, @Chicken Coop pleasured me without even knowing it.
A proper disclaimer was given. I’m not liable, YOU are. Fitting since this was going to be a YOU vs. YOU beatdown. Everyone already knew I wasn’t a professional, even Forto whom I’d never met before. The Thang was explained post stellar disclaimer: One mile AYG run followed by a four corner AMRAP circuit around the cafeteria lot including stops at each corner of the lot. Corner 1: 20 Merkins. Corner 2: 20 jump squats. Corner 3: 10 pullups OR 10 burpees (Pax Choice). Corner 4: 20 WWII’s. At the 30 minute mark, we will stop the AYG circuits and run another mile as a group, with “Old Glory,” finishing together. Insert @Forgotten Jelly’s climax here.
This looks simple on paper, but damn it’s rough for non-runners. I thought I was gonna die midway through the first mile and continued to feel that way for the rest of the beatdown. Not surprisingly, @Kojak did his best rabbit impression and knocked it out of the park with six full circuits completed, topping all Pax present. Several Comanche Pax and Forto were not far behind with 5 plus circuits. YHC got lapped twice, but still managed to knock out four full circuits with a few other Pax just behind me. We then finished up as a group with YHC bringing up the rear. It felt as though I was breathing through a straw today which is not abnormal for this fat, out of shape asthmatic. Nonetheless, I’m thankful for the opportunity to lead and pleasure people (via beatdown) in the process.
NOTE: Our mile was actually .87 mile, so I short changed you a bit. It was easier to explain the shorter version of the route than do the actual mile route planned. Sorry, Pax, I’ll do better next time!
We finished a few minutes earlier than expected as YHC’s timer was off. Thus, we did some MARY: LBC’s, Pretzel Crunch, Low Flutter, Low Dolly, and some Rosalita Whips.
Dirty Out of Breath Moleskin:
Everyone put in work today. Well done, men!
We thanked @Chicken Coop for his service in the USAF, even though @Ranger doesn’t see the USAF as a true branch of our Armed Forces….
Prayers were spoken for our servicemen and women and their families; for @Hammer’s family who is morning the loss of a relative due to COVID; and for YHC’s friend’s the Simpson Family, two of whom have COVID, one of which is in the ICU.
Happy Veteran’s Day everyone!