November 5th, 2020 By Spud

16 men woke up after El Abogado and showed up before him to go on a journey through the Q’s past

B&G Club Parking Lot 

SSH x20ic

Hillbillies x10ic

Loose Change x10ic

Arm Circles

Hamstring Stretch

 

THANG

Mosey on over to…

 

Old Middle School 

Run up stairs and back

Dips x10

WW2’s x10

Repeato x3

Mosey on over to…

 

Veterans Memorial

Flutter kicks x10ic

Merks x10

Squats x10

Repeato x3

Mosey on over to…

 

Memorial Garden

Burpees x5+1

Lungewalk 

Core killers x5+1

Repeato until time to dance with Mary

 

MARY

Down dog

Up dog 

Runners stretch L/R

 

PRAYERS

Scooter’s neighbor Gloria who fell and was discovered by a concerned friend who hadn’t heard from her

Catfish’s friend Will Clark as his unborn children have been diagnosed with a serious heart defect

America, and Americans

 

 

MOLESKIN

 

This Q began like any other: without my trusty sidekick Deer Tick nor the PAX who recruited me to F3 – El Abogado. Without Deer Tick by my side to inspire and pace me, I took off much faster and further than one has come to expect from ol’ Mayweather.  I didn’t start my watch, so I had to track the distance with my internal GPS.  I clocked us somewhere between 40-45 miles running this morning, give or take a dozen. The highlight of which was leading the men like the natural born gazelle I am, when I was crept up on by glow of LED headlights and the crescendoing purr of a Swedish luxury automobile engine approaching from my 6.  The fine vehicle pulled up alongside me slowly and the mysterious driver rolled down his tinted window and softly spoke words I could not hear.  The inside of the car smelled of ill begotten wealth and bad intentions.  Right as I was about to say “keep moving sir, I don’t do that anymore” I caught the twinkling eye of the mystery driver.  At first I didn’t recognize him, he had gotten his head circumcised since I saw him the day before.  It was El Abogado, shown up for one of my Q’s at last!     

 

I wish I remembered exactly what my message was during COT this morning, because apparently it was pure gold.  But here’s a new one:

 

Each of the stops on our little journey through my soul this morning had special meaning to me.  The Boys and Girls Club where we warmed up is where I spent my afternoons and summers from childhood through graduating high school.  The old Concord Middle School is where I came of age and engrained myself in many proud traditions of this town.  These are a couple of places that shaped who I am today.  The Veteran’s Memorial is a spot that we all probably drive by daily and hardly notice or think about.  It represented my time in the Army, mostly spent in combat as a young man in a far-away place. The parking lot of Memorial Garden was the most special place to me, my daughter is buried there right on the other side of the wall where we worked out.  Not to be forgotten, OCT where we started and finished – the AO where we share time together. 

 

I’m not old, but a good bit of time has passed since I spent my entire young adulthood at war. Enough time that sometimes I forget how those years affected me, and enough time that sometimes I even think I’m safe from some of those effects.  Recently I shared with you guys about my medic from 15 years ago who was attached to my hip for a long time during some rough times.  15 years later he lost his war.  Hearing that news not only hurt me terribly because of the loss of my friend who left behind a wife and kids, but selfishly it also scared me because it reminded me I still carry a lot of those same demons with me. Thinking I’m out of the woods for that kind of thing is negligent. It’s one of the things that made me decide to give up drinking for a little bit.  Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a problem.  But I could have developed one, and if I did I knew I might not have time to fix it before it killed me.

 

Losing my daughter the way I did, completely not expecting to and holding her in my arms when it happened, ruined me.  But I’m a husband and a father, I’ve got people counting on me.  So I didn’t and don’t have the luxury of despair.  I pick my ass up every day and I carry on.  I learned that you never get over something like that, but you get good at acting fine.  So good that people don’t even realize that you’re wearing a mask.  But every single day I carry that pain and that darkness with me.  I start my day with it, I finish my day with it, and it’s there in between and even during the night sometimes.  I’ve tried to run from it, avoid it, suppress it, ignore it, and fight it.  None of them work.  I’ve found that the only way to survive it is to face it, manage it, and try to channel it in a healthy way.  You just have to accept it as a part of who you are, turn as much good out of it as you can, and learn to live with it.  Otherwise all that hate and anger and sadness will absolutely eat you alive.  And I can’t afford to be eaten alive, people are counting on me.    

 

I tell you all of this because even though I’ve got my own battles, we all have our battles.  Nobody’s battle is too small or insignificant.  You can’t let those battles define you, but rather you’ve got to let them be a part of the tapestry that makes you who you are.  And if you face them and accept them, you’ll find there’s room in that tapestry for a lot of good stuff too.  I’m a combat veteran and I’m a bereaved parent, but I’m also from a great community with lots around me to be thankful for.  I’m a Democrat in some ways and I’m a Republican in others – I’m just an American.  I’m a father to wonderful kids and a husband to the best wife I could ask for.  I’ve got a great group here that I belong to of guys who are like me in so many ways, and very different from me in so many others. 

 

In these particular times that are trying in so many ways, don’t let yourself get caught up in the noise.  Remember who you are.  Don’t let somebody who will never even know your name change what you think about people you know.  Hold onto that light inside of you, and take it out into the world every day.  You never know when that little bit of light that you share keeps someone else from being totally consumed with darkness.

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