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A Tough Beatdown, Plus Something for the Big Ten Fans as Well

All Highlands Backblasts

August 22nd, 2020 By Disaster

Sixteen men showed up at MCCP this morning to see what @Disaster had in store for them. There were plenty of nervous nellies out there who wanted to make sure that today’s beatdown wasn’t going to be too tough for them. No @Pony Boy there will not be a sharknado today. No we will not be tromping through the wet, freshly mowed soccer fields either. Yes @Murdock there will be monkey humpers. Feel free to post as many promiscuous memes on Slack as you want to. YHC considered going with the 1000 rep challenge this morning but the early sentiment amongst the PAX was that would be a bad idea. So I promised lots of running instead, which wasn’t a big hit either, especially with @Sandman and @ONJ. After a lengthy, well rehearsed disclaimer (that did warn the PAX about the running) we were off for a short mosey through the parking lot and past the snack shack where we circled up for…

MARY

THE THANG

Form teams of three, size and speed do not matter. Ignore the cool kids @Pony Boy, @Glock, and @Powerball as they slipped off to the far side of the parking lot where they wouldn’t be embarassed by the rest of us losers. Today’s challenge involves the dreaded three man grinder, which was first introduced to me by @Colonel Mustard several years ago and lives on in infamy. Two partners completing two different sets of exercises on either side of the lot, with a third man running in between. Switch off when the runner gets to you, and run back to the other side and switch off that guy, etc, etc.

ROUND ONE, lower lot, Merkins at the top and WW2 situps at the bottom near the hill. Three sets

ROUND TWO, up the hill towards the baseball fields, CDD at the bottom and Air Squats at the top near the crosswalk, three sets

ROUND THREE, continue up the hill towards the split rail fences, Squat walk at the bottom and LBC at the top of the hill, three sets

ROUND FOUR, the PAX declined the opportunity for partner merkins and dips so we modfied. Two teams, one on the split rail fence for 15 inclined merkins and one in the street for monkey humpers (Yay! I told you they would be there!). Roatate. Switch back for 15 dips on the fence and more monkey humpers (yay!). Rotate. Repeato.

At this point all the monkey humpers started to kick in the and the conversation really started to go downhill (thanks @Gordo!). Apologies to any fathers and grandfathers who might have brought younger boys to the beatdown. I guess they had to learn about sex somewhere. You’re welcome.

Indian Run Slaloms down the hill towards the rockpile. This was honestly the most disorganized looking thing I have seen in five years of F3. Just a mass of humanity mingling togehter. With @Glock leading the way down the hill at top speed. Well, at least we made it to the bottom.

ROUND FIVE, grab a rock, partner up. Partner one runs the loop around the fence (without your rock, unless you are @Murdock, who chose to carry his. If that rock had been a dumbbell it would have been pink. Two pounds tops!) while partner two does curls with the rock. Rotate. Repeato except with overhead press. Rotate. Repeato except with skull crushers. Rotate. Stop.

After some repeated razzing about not carrying the rocks, YHC called for a victory lap for all PAX around the fence while carrying the rock. Except for Big Ten fans, who are clearly too afraid to play football this year, and as such were exempt from carrying the rock. This did not go over well with my partner @Powerball, who chose to carry a rock anyway and spent the rest of the morning giving me hateful stares. Oops!

Return the rocks. Backwards run up the hill to the elementary school, carefully avoiding trucks and speed bumps. Walk over to the track in the back parking lot.

ROUND SIX. More three man grinder. Partner one does air squats at one end, partner two does low flutter at the other end, partner three runs around the track to switch off. Repeat two sets as time was running short.

Mosey back up the hill, stopping at the split rail fence for box cutters as we wait for the six. At this point no one was really listening to my instructions anyway so everyone just did what they felt like. Which was mostly standing around and making fun of the Q. I need to wrap this thing up!

Mosey back across the top of the soccer field and return to the parking lot for Mary, where the three ruckers were anxiously awaiting our arrival. Cool kid @Glock had to show off by running down the hill towards the bleachers and back up, because clearly he is faster than everyone else. No seriously. He is clearly faster than everyone else. Circle up for Mary

MARY

The W IC X 12 (celebrating Wake Forest University, where they are clearly not afraid to play football this year, but sadly will probably end the season with just as many wins as cowardly teams like Michigan and Ohio State. Yay acadmics!)

COT and PRAYER

MOLESKIN

  1. Thanks to everyone who came out this morning. I promised a lot of running and hopefully I delivered. After several minutes, time telling novice @Murdock was able to figure out his watch long enough to determine that we ran about 2.8 miles. Well done PAX.
  2. @Gordo was kind enough to point out that @Sully and I were doing our dips and monkey humpers together in a well choreographed rhythm this morning. I would like to add that there was no eye contact being made and that it was clearly just two top notch athletes performing at the top of their game. And this topic will not be discussed again.
  3. It was great seeing @Tootsie back out in the gloom today. He has been posting at the 530PM beatdowns during the week but today was the first time we have crossed paths since March. Welcome back sir!
  4. Nice work by 2.0’s @Hogstooth and @Minecraft today. Their abundant energy would be welcomed by any of the multiple ‘respect’ PAX posting this morning. Good work guys.
  5. The rucking team of @Sugar, @Chowder, and @Hugo made a brief appearance at Mary today before heading back to the finish line at Barista Craft. They started at 6AM and got in a little over 9 miles this morning. Well done.
  6. Nice turnout for Coffeteria as well, with nine men showing up for some 2nd F at Barista Craft.
  7. Prayers continue to go out for @Pony Boy’s brother, @Sandman’s wife, and a friend of @Tootsie.
  8. Plenty of space on the Sign Up Genius over the next few week so please sign up to Q if you haven’t done it in a while. F3 works best when everybody takes a turn so give it your best shot. If I can do it, anyone can.