July 31st, 2020 By Hops

13 men and Backdraft gathered in the gloom to celebrate the fertility of their leader on the eve of his vasectomy.

WARM UP

SSH x 25ic

Hillbillies x 10ic

Loose Change x 10ic

All sung in cadence, loud and proud, one last time before I’m singing soprano

THANG

Rock Garden – Man-(un)makers x5 count down by 1 each round to signify the ticking clock on my bits, then run to the…

Shelter – Lunges x10 each leg – let ‘em breathe, then run to the…

Bars – Pull-ups x5 – just dangle there like a lively pair, then run to the…

Lower Lot – Squats x10 – with the wide stance of freedom, then…

Run to bottom of hill and back  – to form the tail on the Strava GPS picture of today’s mascot, then…

Repeat the cycle over and again, like the cycle of life itself.

MARY

Flutter kicks x15ic

Hello Dollies x15ic

Downdog x1 not in cadence

Runners stretch x1 each leg, not in cadence

Up-dog x1 not in cadence

PRAYERS

Notebook from Voltron’s AO for recovery from a successful surgery

For my doctor to be well rested and focused tomorrow and to operate with a smooth, delicate touch with the fine ladylike fingers of a concert pianist.  Can’t afford any mistakes!

MOLESKIN

Everyone knows ol’ Mayweather likes a deep metaphor for his workouts.  Everything has meaning and nothing is insignificant. That’s why my friends call me Whiskers. Hence a collection of hand-picked exercises that celebrate a man’s real best friends, all run on a course that should appear as a giant “tadpole” on your Strava maps.

Based on my research of the pending procedure, it sounds like once the Novocain wears off I’ll feel like I got kicked in the nuts 10 minutes ago for like 2-3 straight days. I’ve certainly been in deadlier situations where the stakes were much higher, but think about the last time you took a swift kick in the nuts – devastating.  Now imagine having that on the schedule all week for tomorrow at 11:15 sharp.  No matter where you go or how far you run.  I’m not really scared or worried, but who among us wants to know the exact time and date of their death? Cringe-worthy. It’s like the school bully telling you he’s going to kick your ass at lunch next day and it just weighs on you until then. I’d much rather not see it coming. Alas, my swim team is on borrowed time and they know it.

This got me thinking about dread. You die a thousand deaths before you face the real one when you see it coming.  It reminds me of my first tour in Iraq when the combat was heavy and seemingly endless.  No matter what anybody tells you, that’s a terrifying thing.  But I also had a job to do and men who were counting on me to make calculated decisions in the heat of the moment and we couldn’t afford for fear to disrupt our primary focus.  The way I got through the fear to perform at my best was to just go ahead and make up my mind that I was already dead so whether it happened tonight or tomorrow night was inconsequential, it was already a done deal and every day was just a bonus.  Not in a reckless way, just so fear wouldn’t stand in our way of doing what we were trained to do the right way.  It eliminated the dread. Ironically, I’ve never felt more alive.  Imagine what we could achieve in our lives if we could simply conquer dread, a powerless force that we give so much power to.  Make that sales call even though you’re afraid of rejection, take the chance on yourself to go out on your own into business, have the conversations you’re afraid to have, stand up to a bully.  I’ll admit that I will miss the feeling of slapping a box of Magnums (that’s right) on the counter and looking the cashier in the eye, but now I look forward to the endless opportunities I’ve opened up for myself.

Also this has inspired within me a message of hope for an end to these unprecedented times. Do not doubt the ability of man and science to work together to solve the problem of this virus. Once upon a time some crazy guy with a knife looked down at his own junk and dreamed up the first vasectomy, and an even crazier SOB took a chance on getting the first one.

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