Bearways to Heaven
All Rolling Stone BackblastsJuly 30th, 2019
YHC rolled up in the gloom bright and early, planted the flag, threw a giant weinke on the b-ball courts and left a bluetooth speaker in the teacher’s lot and returned with plenty of time to greet 6 fellow brave pax on a mission for a heavenly beatdown today. Disclaimer given and we mosey to the playground, yes the playground, for…
Warmarma: I was reading Jocko Willink’s motivational book Discipline Equals Freedom last night and happened across his warm up before he “gets after it” and thought, if it is good enough for him, has to be good enough for the pax, so here it is:
- Dead Hang 15s
- Plank 15s
- Upward Dog 15s
- Downward Dog 15s
- Bottom of the Squat! 15s
- A Burpee
- A few SSH
Then..
- 1 Pull up
- 1 Merkin
- 1 Dive Bomber Merkin
- 1 Low Slow Squat
- 1 Burpee
- 5 SSH IC
Escalate to 2 reps of each and 10 SSH IC, then 3, 4, 5/25
A small workout in itself, but all warmed up for…
The Thang:
We mosey to the teacher’s lot where the aforementioned bluetooth speaker awaits.
Bearway to Heaven
Pax do Bear Crawl Suicides to each parking line while Stairway to Heaven plays (8:02 song length.) At first line, 7 burpees. Bear crawl back. Bear crawl to 2nd line, 6 burpees. So on and so forth until you reach the 7th line, 1 burpee. Work your way back down the ladder if time permitting. This is a thoroughly terrible crowd pleasing 8 minutes.
Head to the basketball courts to find the giant weinke. It’s time for an abbreviated version of No Mas!! Suicides width-wise of the basketball court, with a partner. Partner 1 does the suicide while Partner 2 rests, then switch. Exercises are: Run, Laterals, Quadraphelia, Carioca, Frogger, Slalom, Bear Crawl, Burpee Broad Jumps, Power Skip. These are done in ladder fashion. Run, then Laterals, then Run, then Quadraphelia, then Laterals, then Run…. No need to worry about the latter exercises as we only get to Frogger portion before time is called. This was the rest period for the pax because it is back to the teacher’s lot for an encore performance of Bearway to Heaven!!
YHC gives the pax a break by fast forwarding to half way through Stairway to Heaven, so we bear crawl to the 1st line, 4 burpees, back and to the 2nd line, 3 burpees… Song ends and back to our parking lot for…
Mary: 50 LBCs IC
Recover, recover
COT: Prayers for Sir Topham Hatt that healing will come to his very nasty form of pink eye. Q School at Highlands on Thursday
Moleskin: That was “fun.” You want to put a hurting on the pax for 8 minutes, Bearway to Heaven will deliver. You could do it without music and just do the ladder up to the 7th line and feel really good/terrible about yourself. Bet y’all never thought of No Mas as a “rest period.” That Jocko warm up wasn’t bad, could get pretty nasty if you did it very quickly. Betcha he doesn’t do the SSHs in cadence, but the Stoners had no trouble with it this am. Great work overall as that wasn’t easy, especially coming back for a 2nd round of Bearway to Heaven, good mental test as much as physical. Have a great week gents!
Heatstroke