November 21st, 2016 By Fishwrap

Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to…

Good Housekeeping.

The Thang-Thang:

20 burpees OYO and some squats.
Run to Mutha, up the spiral

Mini-Thang:

Partners, spiral x 2, stairs x 2
Rotate 25 hand release w/ 25 hand shake merkins each time up.
Wide arms and LBC’s for the 6.

Spiral AYG

Take it home.

Moleskin:

I’m not uptown much and had to go out scouting yesterday afternoon to make sure we weren’t up against construction nonsense that would be detrimental to our plan. As it turned out, it wasn’t necessary; we took it straight to the Muthaship and hung out on that b*tch for as long as reasonably possible. Here’s why:

I’m in my car, driving up Lexington when I have a Field Of Dreams moment and the barely audible voice is saying, “Take ‘em to the zoo. I hear retards love the zoo.”

I tell the voice we don’t have a zoo. That would be cool though. If Charlotte had a Central Zoo. Nothing too crazy, but a lion, a wolf and some monkeys at the square would be pretty neat.

“Take ‘em to the zoo…”

We don’t have a zoo! City planning ought to get in front of that. If you build it…

The voice is clear and resolute, “Take ‘em to the zoo…” Sounds a lot like Fishwrap, too.

Do you mean the Muthaship? I should take ‘em to the Muthaship? I’m talking out loud, looking in the rear view, I blurt out, “It was you.” My reflection just smiles.

“No, retard, it was you.”

I listened to Mambo No. 5 to get my head right and that’s what we did — me and a bunch of my retarded friends went to the zoo.

Heed the warning: Don’t get too close to the Cindy enclosure. A Cindy is like one of those crazed baboons with rectal prolapse and mad diarrhea that will eat your face off. They’re endangered though so it’s all good. No others like it in captivity. This one is special.

Can you imagine getting your face eaten off at an F3 workout? That would suck. Your wife would be all pissed off at you when you got home.

“What happened to your face? Where’s your f’n face?”

I left it in the Cindy enclosure. The Cindy was going to eat it.

“Go back and get it, dumbass! It’s your face!”

Where were we? Man, this morning felt like old times. A fairly pleasant run to the Mutha. This route is more enjoyable than running up 4^th. Maybe a little longer, but definitely faster.

45 minutes ain’t much time, but we got a pretty good workout in. I hadn’t met Ringer. He and Ballz were having a casual conversation on the way there, at about a 6 minute clip, if that tells you anything. We didn’t talk at all on the way back.

Hadn’t met Thrust either. He was cranking it out.

Nor had I met Gooey. Very few of us had. Waco brought him out to F3Midwood this past Saturday. At P2W today. I was told he said it was like going from grade school to grad school. Like what you’re doing over there for the FNG’s Freeloader #GreatExpectations This young man is going to light it up when he gets his wind in check.

Heck, I haven’t seen a lot of these guys in a while and I really like all of them. Good to be back bootcamping. I had a lot of fun this morning.

Oh yeah, you can expect me and Ballz to be best friends by the end of the year. Don’t tell Ballz, I want it to be a surprise. I’ve asked Gandalf to draft the contracts, like a Best Friend Agreement, and have that ready for us to sign January 1, 2017. You got to get that shit in writing. Apparently, he made a similar contractual arrangement for Doc(k) and AC and as I understand it the paper is important.

I asked, does it change anything? Swamp and Cindy said it changes everything.

To recap,

Donald Trump is President.
Burger King has pancakes.
And I want to punch Vito Corleone in the face (DeNiro not Brando, of course) and would if I saw him and weren’t afraid his old ass would fall down and shatter a hip.

Thanks for playing.

RW with the takeout. It was good.

xoxo
Fishwrap

He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain’t white boy day, is it? – Drexl Spivey

 

 

 

 

 

 

---