July 21st, 2016 By Dingo

This morning started off well. I woke up at 4:30am, made my usual visit to deposit yesterdays feastings. My beautiful wife had my workout clothes set out, even had an almost matching pair of socks on top of the pile!
Thats where the “well” ended……As I started to move to the coffee machine to make the most important meal of ones day, I saw lights outside my house? It was my valiant chariot driver Pongo. I was a little confused as to why he was here so early, until I looked at my watch and realized that somehow 30 minutes had disappeared from my life??!! No caffeine this morning!!! This is gonna be bad!!

I slothed my way into the silver bullet of fun. The first thing I noticed was Pongo’s VERY large cup of moe…..Would he notice if I drank some? If I asked, would he think I’m weird? Does he already think I’m weird? Probably does….better not ask…..but can I sneak some? I never got the chance. As a started my reach for the black gift from God, Pongo reached out as well and was a lot quicker than me. So quick, that he spilled some on his shirt. Would he notice if I licked his shirt?……

As the Dalmation Deliver hurled us at break neck speaks to the AO, I wondered what we would be doing this morning……Oh….I have the Q you say? Thats right, I promised our resident fit mom Dutch that I would have very little running, but still bring the pain today. I can make that happen. If I can figure out a way to leach the caffeine out of Pongos body…..

10 men showed. For a long 2 minutes there were only 3 men. Thoughts of Bojangles coffee may have escaped my lips and may have been suggested as an alternate to working out if no one else showed up. The showed….they always do….what is it about the F3 thing that convinces men that getting up before 5:00am to go to a workout which is outside in the elements is a good idea? Beats me, but I am one of the faithful.

We did a little warm up mosey. As I ran slowly around the building I wondered, have I already broken my contract with Dutch? Is this too much running? Will he die if I make him run more? Should I do that? Will people think I’m mean if I kill Dutch? Oh Hi Ribshack! Ribshack is fast. He hides it from the crowd because he wants to remain on Team Bacon, but Ribshack is fast.

We circled up, we warmed up, I worried that the windmills cooled us down, so we did some more SSH. Did this really upset Ribshack, or was he just so embarrassed of his SSH form that he could not handle doing anymore? I don’t know? Is there an F3 law that I not nothing of that states “Only one set of SSH per workout”? Is there? I don’t know, but I don’t think so…..maybe we could do a whole 45 minutes of SSH! That would suck…..remove that idea from my memory…..what are we talking about?

How do you wear a group of grizzly men down without including running? I’m glad you asked. Ive come up with a few ways over the years and this was a modification on one of them…..a stupid modification, but a modification nonetheless.

3 point cumalitve ladder;

1 to 10 Burpee side jumps
2 to 20 Merkins (In cadence so its actually 4 to 40)
3 to 30 LBC (in cadence so its actually 6 to 60)

What a stupid idea.

Now if you’ve made it this far, you will have read about the lack of coffee that was not flowing through my veins. This does things to ones mind. In this case I couldn’t remember simple math, how to count, basically anything to do with numbers was not functioning in my caffeine deficient brain. Thankfully I have a BuckWheat! There are not many things that BW can do well, other than scare the crap out o poor innocent criminals in dark alleyways in he nastiest ghettos in gotham, but the dude can count!

This sucked. My arms are hurting as I type this, which makes me wonder why am I writing such a long BB? Buckwheat knows…..he Farm knows…..Jelly was in bed……Not sure what that has to do with anything, but we sure can make an effort to make these BB’s a little more interesting. And what is more interesting than the mindless ramblings of a man who didn’t have time to drink coffee today?

We got through that with a bunch of groaning. I had some concerns about neck injuries and I addressed that. I had some concerns that BBC merkins are not up to F# standard, I addressed that. Grief was given back to me that my counting is too fast for good form, etc, etc. My counting is perfect…..for a MENS workout…..nuff said.

We crawled away from that part of the workout. Not sure if there was a sense of overwhelming achievement in finishing that, or just a “Thank The Lord that is over”…..either way, we moved from that spot as the memories of pain and suffering were too much for YHC. I needed to find a happy place. A wise man told me once “You should feel happy at the end of a workout, not tired”. As I moved away from the area of my disgust, I realized that this wise man was not wise at all…..Just weak…..So lets keep this rolling!

Partner up and do the following twice

1 min peoples chair, Amrap dips
1 min Balls2Wall, Amrap step ups

This was not as bad as the first set of exercises, but the first set pretty much demolished YHC’s arms, so the Balls2Wall was decidedly painful. As I was doing my dips I noticed an overachiever pushing rock above his head. I thought wow, good work brother! Until I got over there and saw that it was not a rock, but in fact was a pebble #BBC

We moseyed back for Mary. I don’t feel like doing Mary. Lets do a cool down run instead. Great idea! That may have come from Ribshack, but it was a great idea. We moseyed. Then I heard a little whisper in my ear “prison break”……wow we haven’t done that in a while! The next thing I know I am screaming PRISON BREAK!!!! Ribshack and I took off! Wow, were were moving! 2 men have never run so fast! Im not sure how the other guys brains decipher “Prison Break!!!”, but I’m guessing most of them would still be stuck in prison right now, wondering where the rope had gone from there soap.

Can you over achieve in prison? Yes, yes you can…….

Tradition

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