Touchdown Beatdown

As the sun rose on a typical Saturday in August (humid and warm), 20 warriors dismounted from their steel chariots for a good amount of 2nd F amidst a lot of 1st F with some heart felt 3rd F to close.  Shovel flag planted, FNG welcomed, mediocre disclaimer given and we were off!

The PAX followed YHC down through the soccer fields towards the baseball fields.  Once on the road, we formed two lines on either side of the road for a little WarmupMoseyRama:

  • SSH x 20
  • Mosey a little further down the road
  • IST X 20
  • Mosey to side parking lot of the new elementary school
  • Windmill x 15
  • Merkin x 11

YHC didn’t want to waste a lot of steps getting to The Thang while keeping the PAX together and thus the WarmupMoseyRama.  The PAX was going to need everything they had for was awaited them behind the school.


TOUCHDOWN BEATDOWN!  A measured off mock football field was laid out before the PAX at 10 yard intervals with end zones included for a total of 120 yards.  30 minutes was given to complete as many cycles as possible of the following…

  • Bear Crawl end zone and run to each of the next 9 stations with yard lines determining reps
  • 10 Carolina Dry Docks
  • 20 Squats
  • 30 Merkins
  • 40 Lunges (single leg)
  • 50 LBC
  • 40 Lunges (single leg)
  • 30 Merkins
  • 20 Squats
  • 10 Carolina Dry Docks
  • Bear Crawl end zone
  • Run back to the other end zone
  • repeato as many times as possible
    • 240 yards each cycle
    • 250 reps each cycle

Time was called and the field was dismantled.  Thank you to all who helped!  With a whole 21 minutes to spare YHC decided to use something he noticed only that morning for an additional #downPAINment.  The PAX sensed a great disturbance in the FORCE as they moseyed down the hill to a sidewalk that went seemingly to nowhere.  But instead it led to a three tiered concrete stairway.

Some later confessed their fear of Reverse Spidermans when the stairs came into full view.  Duly noted for the future, but this morning the task was immensely simpler.  Partners were chosen for a little wheel barrel action.  Evenly dispersed, the PAX took two rounds of ascending the stairs switching with partner at each of the tiers and running back down the hill to the bottom.  Each man should have traversed 3 tiers, but it did not go unnoticed that some did more.

With the PAX sufficiently spent, a little MaryMoseyRama ensued to keep every together for the journey back:

  • Mosey back to side of school
  • Low Flutter x 30
  • Mosey to road and form two lines
  • The W x 15
  • Mosey back to parking lot and circle up for traditional MARY
  • Pretzel Crunch x 20
  • Box Cutter x 15
  • LBC x 15
  • Low Dolly x 15
  • Squirm x 15



  • Welcome FNG Ken!  TClaps to Glock for winning the Clowncar award as he consistently totes more FNGs than anyone else in recent weeks.
  • Virtual Trophy to Kool-Aid for finishing 5 rounds and starting his sixth with Thorn not far behind.  Google completed 5 rounds of reps and was beginning the run back with Chopper following closely.  Remember how far you went because we will do this again!  Who knows?  We might actually used the football field at some point.
  • Someone bring a counter for Chopper next time so he can just hit the button and keep talking.
  • Remember Google’s father as well as the whole family.
  • Remember Conchito’s son and all those who battle mental illness.
  • Great work men!  The goal of near maximum daily effort was achieved.

Always an honor to lead the PAX!


3 thoughts on “Touchdown Beatdown

  1. Grinder

    Hate I missed this one, I enjoyed the first installment of it.

    Tclaps to @Malware for venturing out to a new AO!

  2. Alcatraz Post author

    Forgot to mention the close call some of the PAX had with the guys playing cricket on the way back. Not sure how close it was, but let’s just say we all thankful to be alive. Who’s used to watching out for guys playing cricket? #Merica

    1. Gordo

      @Alcatraz, Very challenging with little time for recovery… very good. I have been feeling the legs from the squats and lunges. Love it!

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